Update!

I have received photos of my little man, but I was asked not to share them online at this time. I will tell you all that he is the most precious handsome guy I have ever seen. He has the most pinchable cheeks. If I do get authorization to share, I would love to. You all on the adoption from Taiwan group have been so important to me making it through this long process. You have all been there for me through all the ups and downs and I hopefully have helped some of you along the way. I have been waiting to share with all of you his photos and information but I need to respect my agency and orphanage and not disclose that information until allowed. I can tell you that I love him and my family is thrilled!!!! I will tell everyone that the wait will disappear the moment you see your child's face. He is being very well cared for and I am patiently waiting for the legal documents to come so I can start the courts. I hope to have the quick judge. Every moment you wait for your child will be worth it. I would wait another year for him. I am getting ready to send out a care package to him. This photo I can share with you.

Yes We Got The Call!

It was monday afternoon and I had gotten home from work around 4pm and did some stuff and then happened to check my voicemail and listened to the sound of my caseworkers voice. She left a very vague message about needing me to call her and said she was trying to get me all day but couldn't locate my cell numbers. Well, I started to friek out. My daughters frieked out and we all ran around the room. I called her and of course got her voice mail. So now I am really dying and second guessing what just occurred. Maybe she is just checking in on me. So I decided to check my email for the fun of it. That is when I saw an email from her with exclamation points next to the words -WHERE ARE YOU??? I need to speak to you right now. So that was it. I started crying and running around the room. There was no doubt what that meant. Today was the day I waited for since I can't remember how long. My daughters and I sat looking at the phone for 45 minutes . Oh my god. I will never forget those beautiful words. THIS IS THE CALL. It was a little blurry after that point. I tried to scribble notes. He was born on July 22nd. He will be one or slightly older when he comes home. He was five pounds at birth. He has had the fortune of being raised since Sept. in one of Cathwel's nannies homes and has lived in foster care with that family.
I love him so much and can't wait to see his face!!

Keep Hangin' In!!!!!!!!!!

Give me 24 hours and I will let you know what is going on. Just hang in there a bit longer. Heck, I waited 26 1/2 months. You can wait 24 hours.

FORTUNES

Every Friday night we get take out chinese and open our fortunes. Usually they say something corney. Well, last Friday me and my daughter got fortunes that said this:

Mine "good news of a long-awaited event will arrive soon"
Taylor"good luck bestows upon you. you will get what your heart desires"

We looked at each other and saved them on the kitchen counter. I had a funny feeling.

....Soon I will tell you what happened. Stay tuned.....

All Chilled Out!!!

OK. Now I have pulled it all together. My friend Ann who many of you know on the adoption boards has gotten her referral and well it just makes my life happy!! We have waited this whole time together and I am so happy for her.I now have strength to wait somemore. So, I decided to pull myself together and say - Damn it, I am going to make it through this no matter what. I know there is a baby waiting for me out there. He has to be born. Come on now. I will wait and he will come. That is it. The money will come from somewhere because I will not give up my dream of the last 2 1/2 years. I am not letting this wait take control of me. I will control it and this baby will come- soon! Bring it on.

I Made This To Relax Me

Still Here!

I have been really bad about posting. I am sorry but after a while it gets sad to keep posting no news. There really isn't anything exciting to tell you. I only have bad news and that is not something you want to keep hearing. We have been having a hard time financially and we keep open the possibility of halting the adoption. I don't like even thinking about it but right now there is no money for it anywhere. So no phone call is good for now. I keep trying to think of some way to afford it but can't come up with anything. We took such a hit on our house up north and the Subway hasn't taken off down here in Fl. yet. We have a signed contract to build a home here which we signed long before we had financial problems. We hadn't anticipated on having to put our girls in private school and ya da ya da ya da. The point is there is no money for the adoption. So for that reason I haven't posted much because you don't want to hear it and I don't want to keep talking about it. My husband says that his biggest fear is the phone ringing tomorrow. That makes me feel great. I feel guilty because deep inside I would rather lose our house than lose my baby but I can't say that.So unless something changes we will probably announce the declined referral of our beautiful baby fairly soon. At 25 1/2 months it can't really take much longer. It really makes me mad because I was told 8-10 months. I had the money at that time and loooong after. I had enough money to bring both my children to Taiwan with us also. This is not my fault and there is nothing I can do about it. I may have to tell my daughters they won't be getting the brother they have been waiting for for 2 1/2 years. How do you do that?? It really rips me up. I am sure I am not the only one going through this with the market being so bad right now. It just sucks.I want this baby much more than a new house or to live in Florida. If I had known what I know now I would have stayed put in NH and I would not lose my baby. If a miracle can happen, I need it now. I will keep you posted.

Update!

Well, I just got an update from my caseworker about our family. I had asked if she could contact Cathwel orphanage and ask if there is any news about us. I was beginning to feel like we have been forgotten. She got back to me and said that Cathwel said if you can believe it- there are still a few families from 2005- us included that have not been matched! I thought for sure that all the families from 2005 had been matched except us. What about all the families out there waiting that got on the list in 2006-now. How long are they going to wait if I have already waited 2 years without a match. It is so darn frustrating! Ahhhh! There was nothing else I could ask. All I can do is helplessly wait somemore. She said Cathwel said there is nothing wrong with our family and to take care and be patient. I lost all patience last year. There is no more patience. I want my baby. I have decided that I will get a call by February. That is just the way it is going to be. Ok then, a call this month and that is that.

2 Years! Oh My!!

The Gift of Life

I didn't give you the gift of life,
But in my heart I know.
The love I feel is deep and real,
As if it had been so.

For us to have each other
Is like a dream come true!
No, I didn't give you
The gift of life,
Life gave me the gift of you.
--- Unknown


I found this poem and thought it was nice. We passed two years without a call but hopes are still high. I have some good feelings that the time is coming and the wait is coming to an end- at least this part of it. The next part I can handle better. We are settling in here in Florida, happy to be without the several feet of snow up north already. We have explored some of the beaches and love the wildlife. I thought there was wildlife in Nh. The birds here are enormous- I call them dinosaurs. My daughters are getting used to their new private school and once they make a friend or two will like it here. They still insist that it is better in three feet of snow than here and even when it got to 40 degrees the last day or two they said they were too hot and wanted to go home. Kids are funny. I like everything down here except not having family with us. Christmas was a little bizarre but not as bad as I thought. I met my first floridian- someone who actually was born here. Nobody is. Everyone is from someplace else. It is too funny. Oh and now the retired people have come! Don't drive through parking lots without radar goggles on. They just back up! Everyone warned me about the northerners coming. I didn't think anything of it. I am a northerner. Well these northerners are different. I have never seen a Walmart with as many motorized vehicles in it before. It is a different world down here. I like it though. So now that everyone is settled- we need a call. Ring!!! Darn you!!

Attention-Now Approaching 2 Years!

Yes it is true. We are coming up on two years. I never would have thought it a year ago at Christmas when I was expecting a referral and my caseworker was hoping for one. Will I be here next Christmas? I don't feel anything happening in the near future. I know I sound like a poopoo head talking negative at Christmas time but it is true. I don't feel it. If it comes, fine. On a positive note, I have much to be grateful for this holiday. I have two wonderful girls and a husband who loves me. When our son is meant to be with us, he will come. Just to yell it out there, though-now would be a great time! Merry Christmas everyone.

Our First Florida Christmas!!

Well, here we are at almost 2 years of waiting and our first Christmas in Florida. Alot has changed for us in the last month. We are trying to get settled into our temporary condo while our house gets built. We are already feeling the squeeze of being in a smaller space. We couldn't fit all our furniture on the truck down so we are on mattresses. It was fun at first. We are getting used to the way things are down here. Very laid back and the people are very friendly. My girls are struggling in school. The schools are very different here. We were quite spoiled in NH. But this will toughen them in the end. It will be good for them. We have seen many different types of wild life that we didn't see up North. I saw my first bald eagle and its nest. I saw dolphins close up and stingrays close up. The different bird species are very cool. The vultures are amazing down here. There are tons of them. I have noticed that the trees aren't as tall here so we tend to see the larger birds more. It is a little hard to get used to the Christmas season without snow and 80 degree weather. I will adjust though. The tree I bought at Home Depot was standing next to the palm trees for sale. So funny! Saturday will be our second trip to Disney since we have been here. Oh Yeah!! This is part of why we like it here so much. It took us about three hours to drive but it is worth it. Last Saturday we got home at about midnight. This weekend will be MGM studios.

I hope to share good news about a referral with everyone soon. A chritmas present would be nice this year. I remember last christmas I was told that I would get a referral. I can't believe I made it all the way to this christmas without falling apart but here I am along with others who have waited as long or longer. We do survive. Here's to hoping Santa brings us all what we really deserve this Christmas! Happy Holidays to all those waiting and hugs to all the little ones in their cribs at the orphanages and at home with their forever families.

We Made It!!

After three days of driving and a few not so good events we made it to our final destination- The one way trip to Punta Gorda, Florida!! I never thought we would make it. My girls did great but the animals had a really tough time. One of our cats that is normally pretty calm could pass for a rabid animal the whole trip. Even when we slept in a motel she would sit on the bed and if you came near her she would hiss and growl. One cat got motion sickness and just laid there the whole trip. The parakeets swung on their swings and sang the whole way. The snake picked a bad time to start shedding. He started the process as soon as we left. We are now here and he hasn't come out of his house once. Pythons go blind when they shed and they have a hard time with it. His eyes turned a beautiful color blue. This is the first time he has shed for us and I feel bad it is happening now. We made it here Friday night and are finally going to enjoy the beach tomorrow. I am switching all my paperwork over to Florida regulations. I had a social worker come from FHSA Sat. morning and she did our home inspection. You can imagine what the place looked like. She said it wasn't a problem. Now our background checks have to come through and change our I171h to Florida. So, for once I am hoping the referral will wait until mid December. I think it will. Our baby knew to wait until we moved here and got settled in. It was meant to be. I am thinking though that the longer it takes the more likely we will travel in the heat of Taiwans summer. I guess we better get used to it living in Southern Florida!! It snowed back home today. Florida is my new home.

It's Cold Up Here!!

O.K. So maybe I am exaggerating with the picture but it feels that cold up here. I squeezed in one more post in all the chaos packing and moving. I will never complain about the heat. I promise. This sucks! We are slowly getting packed up. My daughters are finally giving in to the move. It finally sunk in that no matter what they do, we aren't changing our minds. It will be an adventure and will bring us closer together. Now we need a baby brother to complete the picture- BUT PLEASE- after we get there- OK? It has to be getting close. We are at about 22 months. We are at the point where I can actually say without knowing deep down that I am lying to myself that it could happen, soon. I will bet before Christmas. I hope everything falls into place. Unless I get a referral, this is my last post from NH. See you at the other end.

Florida Bound- One Way Trip!!

We just accepted the offer from our buyers from Queens NY and they want to close in 3 weeks!!! I have alot to do to keep my mind off of Taiwan for a few weeks. If anyone notices a crazy truck with animals sticking out of it in all directions going down south- that will be us. I will post when I get online again. Wish me luck!

50/50-stress

Well most of you know that we are trying to sell our home. We along with countless others in the area with the unfortunate luck of having to sell during this time with the market being so bad. Last week we had a mother come to view from Queens NY. She looked at 30 houses before ours. That is what we have been up against. Buyers have the pick of the litter out there. So, I didn't get my hopes up at all. A day later my realtor called and told me that she will be coming Friday-yesterday for a second showing and her hubby will be flying in for it. They will be picking between two houses-ours and one four doors down! I couldn't believe it. The one down the street has the same builder as ours. It is priced $50,000 more than ours but has an inground pool and a finished third floor. Our house is an expanded cape with no third floor but we have an awesome finished basement with built in cabinets. So, to compare them is difficult. Well, yesterday they came and I have been beyond stressing about this!! The main reasons are first- my daughters are very upset about the possibility of moving this early. We put our house on the market very early because of the fear of not selling. We don't need to move to Florida until next October. So, they are in shock, angry, sad-you name it. My sixth grader is having an awful time. She is very attached to her friends. The buyers mentioned that if they make an offer, they would need to know that we can close very quickly! So, we all know that we will have to relocate possibly within 45 days to Florida. No place picked out to rent, schools not set up. AHHH!! A referral coming-probably as soon as we get in the truck and start driving. The second reason I am stressed is that we were told if we don't get an offer soon- before the snow flies, forget it until April. The third reason I am stressed is that we haven't decided what we are going to do for work down there yet. We may sell the Subway's up here and do something different or hold on to them and open one down there. The sticky thing is that for the adoption we need to have proven income, especially when I redo my homestudy when we get down there. They will ask me what we do. If we sell the stores up here, we will have no income until we open something new. I have come this far and a referral is coming soon. I don't want to risk losing it. I don't know if they just check your previous tax returns, because that would show that we own businesses. I need input! We ideally want to hold onto the stores up here, but we are having a hard time keeping them stable with the help and we don't have anyone to run them yet. 45 days won't give us much time. So, back to the house selling- I got off the track. They as of now- Saturday afternoon are still thinking and will choose between the two. They are going to make their choice after they fly home at the beginning of the week. Just put me out of misery! God, making me wait this long is a killer. If they buy it, I will have mixed emotions- sadness for my children, but extreme relief for myself. I will let you guys know as soon as I hear.

We Are Leaving On A Jet Plane!

Florida here we come! We leave Wednesday for a five day trip to Punta Gorda to pick out all our home choices. Even though this isn't a leisure trip, it'll work for me. After all the car trouble and house selling trouble, I can't wait. I ended up getting a new car, so that is all settled. As far as the house selling,NOT! The realtors came over last night and suggested dropping at least $25,000. We dropped $20,000 for now. The slow times are coming ahead as soon as the snow falls, so we are hoping to spark some interest before November. With this being the fact, a plane ride sounds great to me. We may even squeeze in a day at the beach looking for shark teeth. My daughter loves to do that. I am going to leave my troubles behind and for five days not worry about houses or the phone not ringing from my adoption agency, which by the way, I have actually not thought too much about lately. A whole three weeks has gone by without listening to every ring of the phone and checking emails constantly. So, now I am suddenly at 21 months and it is looking like I am almost at the finish line. Even if it stretches out until Christmas, we are only talking a few more months. I can't see it stretching past 24 months. I probably shouldn't say that, but my gut feels like it is coming. Not so soon, but it is coming.Or should I say HE is coming.

I had A Crash!

I haven't posted lately because I have been preoccupied with my car predicament. I was driving home from work last week-alone thank god and an old man pulled out of a side road right into me. I was going about 45 mph. So basically my minivan is alot smaller on the side now and crumpled. We were very content not to have any car payments right now. We were going to drive my van for at least another year and Billy's the same or more. The damage to the car came to almost $5,000. If I traded my car in when it is repaired I will only get about $3500 for it, so do the math. We needed to get a new car with the check from his insurance company. So, with the check for $4500 and the trade in for $1000 with the damage, we got a new car. Not a minivan, but a car to replace what will be Billy's in the future. So now we have two small cars with the hope in a year we can get a new minivan. It is a really cute car. We are happy, we made out well considering the inconvenience. We have a small car payment and a safe car. But, we do have two children and one more coming---well I don't know when, but coming. So, the van needs to come first. Today, I had to part with my rental vehicle which I have become quite attached to the last week. It is a Chrysler Aspen-oh my what a nice SUV. It is like a bus. I felt so powerful. I am almost mad they gave it to me. What a tease. So, it was a sad day for me. Maybe someday I will have one.

We celebrated 13 years!

Today Billy and I have been married for 13 years. We didn't actually celebrate anything, except by sharing rolos at work together this morning. Now that I think of it, we never got a chance to eat them. Oh well, Billy got me a beautiful frame that holds baby pictures- One for birth,three months,six months and a year. I cried. When we get our referral I will put in the birth photo. I also got a wall clock for our new house in Florida from my girls. The thirteen years since we got married has gone by like a rocket, but this waiting for a referral has been like a lifetime. What the heck? We go down to sunny Florida in a couple of weeks to choose all our house colors, flooring and other good stuff. Now we just have to sell this place. You want to talk about depressing- we had an open house yesterday and NOBODY came. That is a scary thing when you have a house being built in another state. Since our house has been for sale, two people have come by. It is sad. It is an adorable country house. I would take it with me, if I could. Everybody seems to want those mansion looking houses with the open concepts. Ours is more traditional with the rooms broken up, but it is still big and I think it is nice. I feel bad for our house. Poor little house. We just need to find the right family for it. I will keep you posted.

Create Your Own!

I Have Been Tagged!!

Myspace Stuff

I have been tagged by Island Boy. I was tagged quite a while ago by my friend Ann and never got a chance to continue it. So, this time I will play along.

You have to post these rules before you give the facts. Players, you must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of your middle name. If you don’t have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had. When you are tagged, you need to write your own blog post containing your own middle name game facts. At the end of your blog post, you need to choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged & to read your blog! O.K.-Here we go...

Marie is my middle name

M- Movies- I love movies. I am a big Will Ferrell type movie fan. I love Farrelly brothers films. My favorite movies right now are Blades of Glory and Knocked Up.

A- Animals of course!! I love all creatures with or without fur and feathers. They are my buddies and I need to be surrounded by them at all times. Animals rock.

R- Rocking Roller Coaster. Disneyworld is my favorite place and that ride is one of my many favorites. I actually go through withdrawal if I can't ride it for a long time. Test Track would be my ultimate favorite but I don't have a T.

I- Independence. My husband and I have always been self-employed and I couldn't go through life working for someone else ever. We love to have our independence to do what we want when we want it.

E- Exploring. I love to travel. I love to ride planes and see new places.

I now need to name five people to Tag. The winners are blogs I have been following for a while regurlarly. I feel like I know these people.

http://www.taiwantreasure.blogspot.com- Ann is hilarious.

http://lyadoptionjourney.blogspot.com- Kira is such a sweety pie.

http://www.learningpatience.blogspot.com- William has gotten sooo big!

http://chairmanmom.blogspot.com - I love the name! I started reading this blog a while ago. She is funny.

http://www.babyhomepages.net/dearonebaby/index.php- I have followed the story of Jeremiah for a year. I love to read her blog.



You guys have fun and continue the game.

20 Months !!

Yikes, that is a long time. I have been very busy keeping my house ready whenever prospective buyers come by, and we had to do some repairs and repaint rooms. All of you who have had to sell know my agony. I can't wait until it is over. I know people waiting months and months right now with the market so bad. I hope we are one of the lucky ones. With all my pets it makes it a challenge to get the house visitor ready. My home is always clean but I have to lock up the four cats and now they want me to cover the rats cage and the snakes tank because it gives people the willies. Come on! My rats look like fuzzy giant mice. All they do is sleep. How could they have scared anyone. The only thing that they can possibly do that would embarrass me would be -well it is kind of funny. They are both boys but one is a youngster and he is frisky. He humps my older guy. I feel so bad for Walter my big old fat one. Frederick just jumps right on. So I can see if they saw that going on, but really, it is quite funny and I just can't see how anyone would get frightened of them. As far as Pete our snake. Someone saw him-oh my god are you ready for this? He was SLEEPING on a log! Call the animal control. That freaked them out. He is secured in a tank and if you don't know, he is a baby. This isn't something from the movie Anaconda we are talking about here. I get so mad at people. You aren't buying the snake, you are buying the house. It is a very clean cute house and my clean caged animals shouldn't make a difference. So tomorrow I need to hide everyone. They said that if the rat cage is under a blanket that will be ok. So, apparently nobody will notice a blanket on a cage and wonder what is inside? Same with the snake. I don't know. I just guess I am getting a little ugly with this wait stretching on forever. No news in that area. I just wait for that CALL. I know it will come. We are still deciding whether to go directly to Florida if our house sells. It may be easier before the baby comes to make the two day drive with the kids and pets. I contacted FHSA-which some of you know well. They do homestudies and adoptions. I asked how complicated it would be to switch everything if I move to Florida before I bring him home. It is just basically an update with new police clearances and physicals. I would need to pay USCIS $385 to switch to a different state. So in total with the update-about $700. Not too bad considering my homestudy expires again anyway in February and it costs me about $300 to update. So I am paying and extra $400 but we will have the stress of relocating out of the way and rent is way less down there. So if we rent an apartment until the house is ready next August, I can start my girls in their new schools and we are golden. Hopefully if all goes well- yeah right baby will be home with us by May??? Is that too hopeful. A December referral? Maybe June. The funny thing is if I didn't mention- we are moving to Punta Gorda the infamous Hurricane Charley epicenter. All six Charlotte County schools are being re built but my girls' schools won't be done until Dec. 2008, so they will go to new schools in Pods-trailers I think. They asked me what their new schools look like and I said-They got blown down. They aren't too thrilled. The good news is that they will both have brand new schools after completion. That is pretty cool. Wow, I have typed away tonight. I will keep you posted of my many goings-on. My spirits are pretty high right now. So all is good up here in New Hampshire!

No New News To Share

I haven't posted much. I just realized it and decided that even though I have nothing to report, I should post something. Our house has been on the market a couple of weeks now and that has kept me preoccupied, which is good, because it gets my mind off the wait. I do think I will be waiting close to 2 years. It is a major bummer. This has caused some confusion for my family because I need to make an important decision. Our home in Florida won't be done until around August 2008. If our house sells soon, we are planning on renting in our town so my children can finish one year of school here. The problem is that our town is very small. Not even a street light. So I don't know if I can find a rental here. If I move out of town, my girls will have to switch schools. This really is not something I want to do to them, because in Florida they will have another new school. So, I was contemplating moving straight down to Florida. Our new town is big and there will be a rental. But, this is where the adoption wait causes a big problem. If he isn't home yet when we move- everything needs to be redone including the I600a which I just redid. International adoption is sooo irritating! Also if we move- none of our family will meet him because they are all up here. What to do!!! I looked up rentals here in town and it lists zero on every website. One thing I have to remember is our house may not sell for a year and then we won't need to worry about rentals, just going bankrupt. I guess my gut says I need to find a rental in town. I will just put up a big sign that says- Help No Home Family of Four with a gazzilion animals!

Our house is officially For Sale

Our house is now with all the other hundred homes in our very close area on sale. Not the best timing, but the house in Florida cannot wait for the market to get better and I heard it is going to get worse. So, we are going for it. Hopefully we won't still be showing it a year from now. I am already very tired of keeping it sparkling everyday. Our baby may never see the home we have lived in for the past six years. If all goes as planned, he will come home to a very tiny apartment jammed with cats, rats,parakeets,a snake, a gerbil and four family members. Or if the referral keeps dragging on- he will come home to Florida instead of New Hampshire to a brand new home. My life is always a question mark. Our ducks whom I love dearly have been transferred to a new home. My original plan was to drive them down to our new house, but the realtor didn't think it would help the selling of the house with ducks wandering all over the yard and feathers everywhere. I find it adorable- but some people are not animal people. So, I found them the best home I could. I also think it is for the best because it would be hard to find a temporary rental that allows ducks if this place sells quickly. I also don't know if they would survive the two or three day travel south. I will have new babies when I get down there. I am having a pond dug for them in the back. It isn't the same as having mine, but at least they have a safe home. I will keep you posted. If any of you are looking to move north- there is a nice house for sale with a great view!

19 Months down ??? months to go

Could we finally be getting to the finish line? Probably not, but it helps me to dream. I sent in my new photo album which was supposed to be more extravagent than my original. Well, the reply I got from my caseworker was that it turned out simple but well done. That's me! I don't have any extravagence in me even when I try.I included a card from each of my daughters written to the birthmom. We will see if it makes a difference. It is on its way to Cathwel now. I am hoping that we will hear by October so we can travel around March. By March our house will hopefully be sold and we will be moved into a temporary apartment until August when we move to Florida. I don't want to travel to Taiwan and have to come home and still show our house. That is not the time I want to worry about being clean. My coordinator said that families wait an average of 2-3 months to be picked after being shown, so if she is correct that we are being shown- October seems possible. Even Christmas will work for me. In February our homestudy expires for the second time. It appears we will be redoing it again. Last time it was pretty simple to redo. I think if we are in an apartment, we may have a bit more to have checked but compared to the immigration paperwork I redid, this will be a piece of cake.

You are wondering if the snake ate? NOOO! It has been almost 3 weeks. I have talked to reptile specialists and they said not to worry, yet. He is a baby so we can't let it go on forever, but they think he will shed soon. They said to continue with the thawed food and when he is hungry, he will eat. I will resort to live food when he is on his death bed. As he gets bigger, so does the live food and it eventually turns into looking like Walter our rat. I saw him drink for the first time yesterday. How funny. He slithered over to his bowl like a dog and stuck his head in and drank for a while. It was cute. He isn't fuzzy like my other pets, but he has his own cuteness.

Anyone else getting tired of this?

I was just suggested by my caseworker to redo my photo album. Perhaps that will help us to stand out. Basically translated into- our album is boring and the moms are picking everyone else instead of us. This is not something I want to do right now or ever. But of course knowing that our boring album has been sitting there for 19 months, I stayed up until 2am doing it. It isn't at all fancy. I don't do fancy. I am who I am. So, hopefully she picks us for us. Our house goes on the market in less than two weeks and the blasted snake still will not eat. I am not going to try live food. He will have to manage with thawed or live somewhere else. We have live food as pets and I cannot go to the pet store and purchase pets that we have as family members and watch him strangle them to death. Frozen rodents are alot easier to accept. I have a call into our local reptile dealer to see if they can help. So, no baby still, a skinny snake and going crazy getting this house together in time. This is my life. It is always interesting. Never dull around here.

OK, now I am ticked off! I told you that our-well my daughter's-new baby ball python ate his first meal last week. I was very excited because I had read in numerous articles how hard it can be. So...this week I figured it would be a piece of cake. I have gone through three mice in three days trying to get him to eat. I don't need this stress right now. He takes a look at it, smells it and then slithers over it to look at other things. Eventually he either falls asleep on it or I get so angry I put him back in his tank and throw it away. Man! Our house goes on the market in two weeks. I don't need anorexic snakes right now. Any suggestions from snake experts? I found myself actually having a conversation with him. I told him he was being very fresh and if he wants to starve then fine. I am going nuts! I have also decided I am never selling another home again. I don't want to be "super clean mom" right now. I had to pack up most of my girls toys and I have to nag them to keep everything spotless. I don't want to do this.I have done it before and it stinks. We are building a home in Florida and although it won't be complete until next summer, we are selling our home now. Or at least we will try. The market is horrible and we can't risk it not selling in time. Since there are so many other houses on the market, we have to keep it sparkling clean and we had to repaint and box up alot of our things. So we will pack it up if it sells and move temporarily into an apartment in NH so the girls can finish up one more year of school here. And hopefully in amongst all this chaos-A call will come with A BABY. It is too complicated to move to Florida without having the baby yet. I have to redo paperwork again. At least if I stay in NH, I can just update my homestudy. I will keep you updated on Pete's progress.

The snake ate! What a load off my mind. It was actually pretty interesting. I want to feed him again. It reminded me of the movie Anaconda when he raised his body up and looked at the food and then opened up his mouth. It was just in mini-version. It was the first time I saw inside his mouth and his teeth. Lots of them. Since his food is so tiny, I don't feel so bad about giving it to him. When he gets bigger and eats more, I am sure it will be tough to do.

So I got an email from my caseworker the other day. I haven't made a big deal out of it, because I have been let down before. She said she got an email from the orphanage and from what the coordinator said it "sounds" like we have been already been presented to the birthmothers. Now I don't get my hopes up because I was told this before. About four or five months ago. Also I know that just because we may have been shown, it doesn't mean we will be picked yet.So, I am still planning on a few more months. But you never know, do you...

18 1/2 Months...but who's counting?

Well, we got back from Canada. That got my mind off things for five days. When we got home we got my daughter the pet that she has wanted for a while. A Python. Yes, I did say a Python. Right now Petey-named after her favorite rock band star,Pete Wentz, of course- is only about 16 inches long. Now we don't know if Petey is really a Petey or a Patricia. That makes a big difference in size. Petey will get up to 3 feet on average. Patricia could get to be 4-5 feet. Now if you know me, you know how much I love animals. So, your question would be how could I feed mice to a snake. Well, it is frozen. I don't know if that makes you feel better. It makes me feel better and it is tiny. When Petey gets bigger, so will the mouse. We haven't fed him yet. The tiny mouse is in the freezer and on Friday we will have to defrost him. Yes, I did say defrost him. This sounds insane, I know. Then we give him to Petey and hopefully he eats it. We do this once a week.At first it was hard for me to hold the snake, but I am kind of getting used to him. He is kind of cute. So that brings our pet total to cats,birds,ducks,gerbil,rats-which Petey is not aloud to eat,fish and a python.

Niagara Falls, Canada

The Maid of the Mist

sparkle

Niagara Falls here we come!!

We are going back to one of our favorite vacation spots-Niagara Falls, Canada. We figured since we are moving to Florida, it will be hard to get back up there again, and we certainly won't be able to drive there anymore. So, one more trip. This will keep my mind off the waiting. My youngest daughter said the funniest thing. She said she wanted to go to the place in Canada where the rocks go really deep but she couldn't think of the name. I had no clue what she meant. She started getting frustrated that I didn't know what she was talking about. Finally I said-The Grand Canyon? She said yes. I had to tell her that no we can't go there and it isn't even in the right country! Kids are funny. She then wanted to change our trip to drive there instead. I explained how long that drive would take and she understood. The last time we drove to Niagara she was 23 months old and potty training.We had a potty in the car with us. The eight hour drive took 11 because every half hour she would say she had to go and we would pull over. I was tempted to put a diaper on her but I didn't and she was totally trained by the end of the trip! It is a funny story to tell her.

I Hate Being Right!!!!

I thought the wait times were going to increase, then I didn't, but I kind of knew they would even though I was told they wouldn't-following me so far? Now at least one agency has officially changed to 18-24 months! After one follows the rest. Mine ridiculously still says 14 months-come on now! So, I was right. It makes so much sense. There are several families ahead of me at 20 months already. So where does that leave me?? It is mid-June and I anticipate still grouching on here until October. I am bummed but not as irritated as I usually am. I think I already knew and it already sunk in a bit ago. Oh well, what can we do? We are at the mercy of the adoption process now. No turning back and I don't want to turn back. This is kind of fun. Weird huh?

I Didn't Fall!

Well, I made it through the wedding without one trip and the heels stayed on all night! My feet got numb after a while, so it all worked out. My joints still ached and I felt kind of ucky so I had a couple of drinks and the pain went away! All in all I think it went well. My daughters looked beautiful and Billy looked as handsome as he did at our wedding 12 years ago.

As far as any new news goes, the answer is the usual NONE. This is ok, though. I have accepted it. I feel like it isn't too far in the distant future now. Maybe we will break a worlds record for waiting. Actually I think there are many families way past me at this point. He will be cute and worth it. I just don't want to end up traveling during the Chinese New Year. I have heard everything is closed and very expensive. Flights are very expensive also. So, please some news by August. Not likely, I see me flying smack dab during that time. I will go with the flow. Take what I can get. I just want to kiss his little cheeks or chunky cheeks. Any cheeks!

Glitter Text

Now I don't know what to think!

Myspace Icons

Well, with the logjam of families that applied when I did, I was sure the wait times were going to change, but now I have heard otherwise. I thought 18-24 months was going to be the new norm, but now me along with the others that are backed up from the immense popularity of Taiwan at that time, are now in the unknown. Will we wait over 20 months or will we be chosen earlier. Nobody seems to know, but apparently after the increase in wait times happened, applications dropped and for those families way behind me, it seems good news. An eventual drop in waits. Not good for us families in the unfortunate situation of having applied when we did. So, for the other families waiting with me, our time will come. We will come out of this black hole. Our children will be even more precious after waiting for them for sooo long and what a story we can tell them someday.

The Wait Will Continue

Well, the verdict is in. The wait times are going to change to 18-24 months. Ah, what is a few more months. Maybe we will be on the shorter end of it. I was prepared for another three months anyway. That will be 20. It is still possible. I believe everything is happening for a reason. For instance, I just got diagnosed with Lyme disease today and I feel like crud. So, a referral now would not be good. I look at it that way, but then again why would Lyme disease happen for a reason. That is not a nice thing to do to a person. Who knows. So when I feel better, the call will come. My problem at this moment is not the baby but the fact that I am in a wedding in three days and I feel like my limbs are going to fall off. Life-it is full of surprises.

Shedding Some Tears Today

Well, the rumor on the adoption group is that the wait is going to change-AGAIN!! The third time for me. First we started at 8-10 months. Then we got to ten months and it changed to 12 months. We got to twelve and it changed to 14-16. We are at 17 and there is a rumor, which makes my stomach churn, that the orphanage is contacting agencies to let them know that the wait is changing to 18-24 months and there are still 12 families waiting from the end of 2005. I am the last one from 2005. Today I broke down. I cannot handle this anymore. Enough is enough. I am ready to give up. I cried and got into bed and slept. I also threw some food on the kitchen floor. It is better than throwing lamps. I woke up to my daughter telling me to come into the kitchen. It was now dark and she and my husband had made me cinnamon rolls. That cheered me up. I checked my email and there was a response from my caseworker saying that she too had heard the rumor and will contact the orphanage early in the week. So the agonizing wait continues.

"To Fall or not To Fall"-that is the question!

So, I have this wedding next Friday. All four of us are in it. My sister-in-law is getting married and I am the maid of honor. Well, I have never been in a wedding before, except for mine of course, but that doesn't count. I also haven't been to a wedding in a loooooong time. And I haven't worn heels in a super loooooooong time. So, I bought the shoes and they are high, which makes sense since they are called high heels, but they really feel high. I feel like I am standing on toothpicks, but they don't look that unusually high. I just think I stink at walking in heels. My concern is at what point am I going to trip at the wedding. Rugs are great, nice shiny dance floors are not. So, my guess is that is where I will fall. They look good though.

Yep, really has been 17 months

It seems crazy that we have been waiting this long, but we have and we will continue until that phone rings. It will ring you know. The good news today is that we got our renewed I600a approval in the mail. Very quick turn around this time. So, I will just keep doing what I do best, wait.

This wait is becoming unwaitable!!!

I don't know how much longer I can wait. There haven't been any referrals that I have heard about from our orphanage. I keep thinking that I might be waiting way past July. I accepted into my mind a date of the beginning of July which is 18 months. I thought that was realistic, but I don't know now. I can maybe handle August but after that check me into a crazy house. Seriously, one can only take so much. I am half joking because obviously I am in this for the long haul, but who knew the haul would be this long! I don't want another Christmas without him. Let there be a rainshower of babies in Taiwan.

Re-Printing Done!

OK, today's stress is all over. We got reprinted, so now we just need our new approval letter from Homeland Security to come before a referral does. I don't see a problem with that. This has to be the last time I go through this. We planned on being fifteen minutes early for our appt. and hit traffic from road work on the highway and were twenty minutes late! After the way we were treated last time, I thought for sure we would be told to go home and reschedule but surprisingly the guard and everyone else was very nice. We met a couple adopting from Guatemala who were shocked this was our second time there. Smooth sailing once we get that letter in our hands. Now to cut the grass and enjoy the sunshine.

My nine year old daughter Taylor came home from school today. She said one of her classmates asked her teacher if the Empire State Bldg is the tallest bldg. in the world. Her teacher replied no-The Sears tower is. I DON"T THINK SO! Taylor came home and told me her teacher was wrong. She went straight to the computer and printed out the Taipei 101 statistics and is bringing them to class. She said see mom- I knew I was right. Go Taylor! I told her hopefully by Christmas we will take the elevator to the top. We are all learning so much from this adoption journey.

My oldest daughter got her ears pierced today. It brought back memories. They still do it pretty much the same way.

This says it all!

I didn't get a good fortune on Friday in my cookie. In fact I didn't even get a cookie. I'll try next week.

Do You Ever Feel Like This???

Maybe it's the rain? Maybe it is the fact we have been waiting over 16 months, but whatever the reason, this is how I feel today!!! Everyday the same thing, no news and nowhere closer than we were yesterday.

Is He Born Yet?

I often have wondered over the months if my son is born yet? I pick a day in my head and obviously it is wrong. But, what if he really is born now? I am going to take a shot in the dark at a date and we'll see how close I come. DOB May 15th. With my luck that will be year 2008. No seriously if it takes 18 months which is what I am now hoping. I can't believe I am at the point of hoping for that timeframe, but if it does, then he will be approx. 6 weeks old at referral. So May 15th it is. A referral at the beginning of July. So in six weeks I will have a picture of my son. Hopeful thinking. An impossibility? We will find out. Next Thursday I will be reprinted. So that will give me enough time for my new approved I171 to come to me. Everything is falling into place, now we just need a little guy in a diaper.

What If?

Hello, Again I am in a good mood. Amazing. I really have got this waiting thing down pat. The weather has been nice consistently. The grass is green and the flowers are growing. I don't anticipate a call anytime before July but who knows. Right now it has been about 16 1/2 months. Families are now averaging about 18 months! Unbelievable. If we only knew back then. Actually, I still would have waited.

So, every Friday night we get take-out chinese food. What if my fortune inside my fortune cookie says this...I can dream can't I?

Today Is A Happy Mood Day!

Yes I am in a good mood today. I finally got the whole homeland security mess cleared up. See below if you have no clue what that means. I sent in a new app.to refile my I600a even though it is four months to expiration. This way, since my fingerprints are expiring now, I can avoid having them done for a third time in three months-which is dumb anyway.Why they don't have the fingerprints and I600a expire at the same time, is beyond me. So today i got a letter saying they received my check for $685.00 and will be scheduling a fingerprint appt. soon. This is hopefully the last time I have to pay for one of these.

The other good thing was that my caseworker at FCA told me that we are the only family at the top of her list waiting for a boy. The other families are way behind me. It is a different story at the orphanage in Taiwan where there are several families still ahead of me, but that is still good news for me. At least I am at the top of somebody's list.

Oh the only thing that could happen, that would be bad, would be for me to actually get a referral now, while my paperwork is in limbo. Yeah right. Like that will happen. So for once I need the referral to wait at least another month. That shouldn't be a problem. I see myself still writing these letters in three months. Until next time...

I Got A Ticker!!

See my ticker at the top?? My friend Ann, whom many of you know from the adoption groups put it on here for me. Isn't it cute? I always wanted one but couldn't get it on here. I am not that coordinated to do anything slightly complicated on the computer. I am happy now.

Oh My God!!!

I know some of you can relate to this because you are going through it also right now, but I am going out of my head with this paperwork renewal garbage. I have to redo everything and pay all over again because none of the government paperwork lasts as long as we are waiting. I have to get refingerprinted which alone is a pain in the rear. I have to make an appt and drive with Billy to Manchester at the designated time and have to endure the rude people in the INS office. I have to again pay $140. Ok so I was planning on doing that next week. My Dept of Homeland Security paperwork which costs $550 is expiring in August. I just found out that possibly when I redo the paperwork the new fingerprints will be invalid and I will have to have them redone AGAIN!!! Another $140. So I thought I was really ingenious. I got all my Govt paperwork together and got a certified check and sent all my birth cert, marriage license, homstudy etc out and mailed it out so that I could renew now and just get the fingerprints done once with the Govt paperwork. That is how it is done in the first place. Well I found out six hours after I dropped it into the mailbox with the big check that it possibly cannot be refiled until one month before its expiration!! So basically that means I wait for it to come back. Meanwhile my prints are almost expired and I get them redone now and I redo my paperwork in August and redo my prints again. Nice!

Also, it looks like the wait may be closer to 18 months. There are apparently still many families in front of me. No problem. After dealing with this paperwork mess, it isn't a big deal. Unless he isn't home for Christmas.

I Had To Do It

I made the mistake in emailing my caseworker today. I had to. I just needed to know what was going on and why it is taking so long for a referral. I knew there would be no good news but I did it to myself as usual, again. I have been irritated lately because I have come to the realization that my immigration clearance is also going to expire before the baby comes home. That paperwork was a pain to do and very expensive. I am not trying to put a price tag on my son, but having to repeat things that shouldn't need to be redone irritates me. I heard the cost went up also. So I emailed Jennifer to tell her that it will be expiring. I was hoping she would say- Don't worry I was just about to call you to tell you that we have a baby for you- yeah right. Instead she said that I need to keep all my forms and passports up to date. Of course, what else would she say. Also she said that she is saddened at the fact that our family has had to wait this long and she still feels hopeful. She said she will speak to Cathwel this week and try to get information or advice. Advice? Advice on what - Wait longer? I know other families have had to wait longer than me, but sometimes I don't think I can take it any more. Have I said this already in previous posts? I should check the dates I write things. Maybe it is monthly thing. You know what I mean. So, the baby ducklings have been keeping me busy, but they aren't the same. I can't put diapers on them, well I could but that would be weird. Actually I was lying on the rug with them tonight and one of them pooped on my arm. That might happen with my son. All I want is to know who he is and I won't complain anymore, I promise. So everyone wish really hard and make my next post be the big one.

Re Introduction

I thought I would re-indroduce my family for those who don't want to scroll all the way down to the end and read everything again. My husband Billy and I started this journey in August of 2005. We thought the journey would end by October of 2006, but here we still are without a baby or a referral even. That is OK though. I am getting content waiting. We finished our homestudy up in Dec of 2005 and were put on the waiting list at Cathwell at the end of that year. Our adoption agency is FCA. We have requested an infant male. We have two girls at home now ages 11 and 9. We live in NH on two acres in a cute white house which you can find at the other end of this blog. We have many animals, although not as many as we used to. We own Subway restaurants so that is where me and my hubby spend our days together and the girls also during vacation. Now contrary to what you might see everywhere else, our Subways are clean. I feel the need to mention that because I see alot of stores that are dirty and mine are not. Oh and my husband and I actually get along most of the time even though we work and live together. So we have been waiting and waiting for a long time. To add to it, we are building a house in Florida and are moving in the winter. So, I do need him home as soon as possible. I don't want to get off the plane and get into the Uhaul. Not my initial plan. But I will take what I can get at this point. So we are hoping for a call soon. The only thing is that there haven't been too many referrals coming out of Cathwell lately and I know of at least a few families ahead of me. So my guess is no referral until June. That would put us at 17 months. Anything later than that and I will be dead, dead from waiting. So that is us in a nutshell. We are a quiet happy family with all four passports ready to go. Just need our "William".

New Ducklings! peepers and lil peep

ARGGGGGGGHHH!!!

OK, this is getting crazy. My computer broke for a couple weeks and I thought for sure, I would get a call then. Nope. We are almost at 16 months now. We did have a couple of babies-ducklings that is. I will be satisfied with them for now. They actually keep me as busy as my daughters did when they were born. Soon I will be getting my fingerprints redone and if nothing happens by August my big stuff expires. My immigration paperwork. Lots of money. Well I wish I had more to say. It is always the same. I will report good news when it comes.

Yes, we are still waiting....15 months!

I hate to say it. There has been no call. Family asks and all I can say is I don't know. I would never change my mind about adopting from this wonderful country. I would do it again in a heartbeat, but I have to say this waiting is killing me. Nothing in my life has been as hard as this. Wondering if he is lying there in the orphanage yet. Wondering why the mom's haven't picked us. My caseworker said we are being shown, so why not us. It is almost better not to know when you reach the top of the pile, because you expect a call. When it doesn't come, it is heartbreaking. I know the right mom will find us, but please soon. I don't want to wait anymore. The even worse thing is that I know of other families waiting longer than me. So knowing that worries me also. I keep thinking that putting all those animal pictures in my photo album might be hurting us. Or maybe the fact that we are self-employed scares the mothers. Maybe we don't make enough. I thought they liked Subway in Taiwan. Maybe they think we will make him work there. Well, at least the mother who picks us will like us for who we are. I can't wait to meet her. I am going to give her the biggest hug and say Thank You. I am going to take a picture of her with Me and William and I am going to frame it and put it on the wall next to his crib so he can see her when he goes to sleep and wakes up everyday. Now just pick us!!!

Billy and the girls ready for Splash Mountain

Why do they have ponchos? I know you are saying why go on Splash mountain and not get wet. Well it was in the 50's and raining. That's why.

Taylor at Japan in Epcot

Tay looked so pretty in this kimono. I hated to tell her she couldn't buy it. I promised her one in Taiwan. I hope they have them

STILL WAITING!!!!

Oh my god, I am still waiting in March now. I went on vacation because I knew for sure if I stopped thinking about the phone ringing, it would ring. That didn't work. This is just crazy. I am not panicking, but a little worried. I think the birthmoms are passing us over for other families. I have also heard some families have waited 16 months now. I am not going to make it that long.
On the positive note, vacation was awesome. We went to my favorite place in the world- Disneyworld. This is our eighth trip. I never get tired of it. Billy conquered some of his fears and went on some big rides. Now we are back in the arctic. Below zero here.
My next post has to be a good one, this can't go on forever. Wish me luck.

Aren't They Cute??????

I found out my brother in law reads my blog alot so I decided to update it, even though I have no new information. I don't want to have the most boring blog ever. This is his new son Christopher and Shaun with my very happy Taylor!

No new news. I am still waiting. We are into the 13th month now. My caseworker emailed me and said anytime now. Yeah right. I am going to plan on March and anytime sooner great. Anytime later- I kill someone. Since starting this process we are at 1 1/2 years. Hopefully good news soon. I will keep up the wishful thinking.

Christopher Is Born!!

Three Sleepy Friends

January and still waiting

Well, we are now into 2007 and the clock is still ticking away. We made it through the holidays with Taylor spending three nights in the hospital. I guess things do happen for a reason. If we did get the referral at Christmas like we hoped, that would have been horrible. Taylor needed me then. Now that things are back to normal around here, I am ready again for a call. Three of us have our passports. Tay will get hers tomorrow. We got our homestudy update almost completed. It expired in December. We had to all have physicals again and all the other good stuff. Nothing too painful, except for maybe the bill when it comes. We are going down to Disney in Feb to get our minds off the wait and to enjoy one last trip as a family of four.
I get a feeling inside that maybe our son has been born. We shall see if my feelings are right. I am hoping for a call in Feb. I am starting to get good at this waiting thing. It is getting easier. I hope to have good news in my next post.

Christmas is coming

I just got a very disappointing email from my casworker that the wait has changed to 14 months, so that long awaited call I was hoping for in the next few weeks won't be coming. Oh well. Also, my homestudy,fingerprints and gov't approval will expire around June. Merry Christmas to me. I need a vacation!!!

Taylor with Walter and Jeffrey

We are trying to keep busy and pass the time. Thanksgiving is coming. I got passports for Billy and Sam ordered and now of course, who else wants to go? Taylor!! We won't be getting a call this month. My coordinator called and said she was hopeful that our profile is already being shown at the orphanage and was giving them a call. She called back and said that she was surprised and very sorry that we aren't yet, but did say that the last two families got shown right at 12 months and got referrals within a couple weeks after. Well since the wait has been longer than expected, I don't think we will be traveling until June, so no big deal about missing school. We have all decided to go and make it a vacation. I am still hoping for a Christmas referral, but am also being realistic and accepting a January one. Happy Thanksgiving!!!