Update!

I have received photos of my little man, but I was asked not to share them online at this time. I will tell you all that he is the most precious handsome guy I have ever seen. He has the most pinchable cheeks. If I do get authorization to share, I would love to. You all on the adoption from Taiwan group have been so important to me making it through this long process. You have all been there for me through all the ups and downs and I hopefully have helped some of you along the way. I have been waiting to share with all of you his photos and information but I need to respect my agency and orphanage and not disclose that information until allowed. I can tell you that I love him and my family is thrilled!!!! I will tell everyone that the wait will disappear the moment you see your child's face. He is being very well cared for and I am patiently waiting for the legal documents to come so I can start the courts. I hope to have the quick judge. Every moment you wait for your child will be worth it. I would wait another year for him. I am getting ready to send out a care package to him. This photo I can share with you.

Yes We Got The Call!

It was monday afternoon and I had gotten home from work around 4pm and did some stuff and then happened to check my voicemail and listened to the sound of my caseworkers voice. She left a very vague message about needing me to call her and said she was trying to get me all day but couldn't locate my cell numbers. Well, I started to friek out. My daughters frieked out and we all ran around the room. I called her and of course got her voice mail. So now I am really dying and second guessing what just occurred. Maybe she is just checking in on me. So I decided to check my email for the fun of it. That is when I saw an email from her with exclamation points next to the words -WHERE ARE YOU??? I need to speak to you right now. So that was it. I started crying and running around the room. There was no doubt what that meant. Today was the day I waited for since I can't remember how long. My daughters and I sat looking at the phone for 45 minutes . Oh my god. I will never forget those beautiful words. THIS IS THE CALL. It was a little blurry after that point. I tried to scribble notes. He was born on July 22nd. He will be one or slightly older when he comes home. He was five pounds at birth. He has had the fortune of being raised since Sept. in one of Cathwel's nannies homes and has lived in foster care with that family.
I love him so much and can't wait to see his face!!

Keep Hangin' In!!!!!!!!!!

Give me 24 hours and I will let you know what is going on. Just hang in there a bit longer. Heck, I waited 26 1/2 months. You can wait 24 hours.

FORTUNES

Every Friday night we get take out chinese and open our fortunes. Usually they say something corney. Well, last Friday me and my daughter got fortunes that said this:

Mine "good news of a long-awaited event will arrive soon"
Taylor"good luck bestows upon you. you will get what your heart desires"

We looked at each other and saved them on the kitchen counter. I had a funny feeling.

....Soon I will tell you what happened. Stay tuned.....

All Chilled Out!!!

OK. Now I have pulled it all together. My friend Ann who many of you know on the adoption boards has gotten her referral and well it just makes my life happy!! We have waited this whole time together and I am so happy for her.I now have strength to wait somemore. So, I decided to pull myself together and say - Damn it, I am going to make it through this no matter what. I know there is a baby waiting for me out there. He has to be born. Come on now. I will wait and he will come. That is it. The money will come from somewhere because I will not give up my dream of the last 2 1/2 years. I am not letting this wait take control of me. I will control it and this baby will come- soon! Bring it on.

I Made This To Relax Me

Still Here!

I have been really bad about posting. I am sorry but after a while it gets sad to keep posting no news. There really isn't anything exciting to tell you. I only have bad news and that is not something you want to keep hearing. We have been having a hard time financially and we keep open the possibility of halting the adoption. I don't like even thinking about it but right now there is no money for it anywhere. So no phone call is good for now. I keep trying to think of some way to afford it but can't come up with anything. We took such a hit on our house up north and the Subway hasn't taken off down here in Fl. yet. We have a signed contract to build a home here which we signed long before we had financial problems. We hadn't anticipated on having to put our girls in private school and ya da ya da ya da. The point is there is no money for the adoption. So for that reason I haven't posted much because you don't want to hear it and I don't want to keep talking about it. My husband says that his biggest fear is the phone ringing tomorrow. That makes me feel great. I feel guilty because deep inside I would rather lose our house than lose my baby but I can't say that.So unless something changes we will probably announce the declined referral of our beautiful baby fairly soon. At 25 1/2 months it can't really take much longer. It really makes me mad because I was told 8-10 months. I had the money at that time and loooong after. I had enough money to bring both my children to Taiwan with us also. This is not my fault and there is nothing I can do about it. I may have to tell my daughters they won't be getting the brother they have been waiting for for 2 1/2 years. How do you do that?? It really rips me up. I am sure I am not the only one going through this with the market being so bad right now. It just sucks.I want this baby much more than a new house or to live in Florida. If I had known what I know now I would have stayed put in NH and I would not lose my baby. If a miracle can happen, I need it now. I will keep you posted.

Update!

Well, I just got an update from my caseworker about our family. I had asked if she could contact Cathwel orphanage and ask if there is any news about us. I was beginning to feel like we have been forgotten. She got back to me and said that Cathwel said if you can believe it- there are still a few families from 2005- us included that have not been matched! I thought for sure that all the families from 2005 had been matched except us. What about all the families out there waiting that got on the list in 2006-now. How long are they going to wait if I have already waited 2 years without a match. It is so darn frustrating! Ahhhh! There was nothing else I could ask. All I can do is helplessly wait somemore. She said Cathwel said there is nothing wrong with our family and to take care and be patient. I lost all patience last year. There is no more patience. I want my baby. I have decided that I will get a call by February. That is just the way it is going to be. Ok then, a call this month and that is that.

2 Years! Oh My!!

The Gift of Life

I didn't give you the gift of life,
But in my heart I know.
The love I feel is deep and real,
As if it had been so.

For us to have each other
Is like a dream come true!
No, I didn't give you
The gift of life,
Life gave me the gift of you.
--- Unknown


I found this poem and thought it was nice. We passed two years without a call but hopes are still high. I have some good feelings that the time is coming and the wait is coming to an end- at least this part of it. The next part I can handle better. We are settling in here in Florida, happy to be without the several feet of snow up north already. We have explored some of the beaches and love the wildlife. I thought there was wildlife in Nh. The birds here are enormous- I call them dinosaurs. My daughters are getting used to their new private school and once they make a friend or two will like it here. They still insist that it is better in three feet of snow than here and even when it got to 40 degrees the last day or two they said they were too hot and wanted to go home. Kids are funny. I like everything down here except not having family with us. Christmas was a little bizarre but not as bad as I thought. I met my first floridian- someone who actually was born here. Nobody is. Everyone is from someplace else. It is too funny. Oh and now the retired people have come! Don't drive through parking lots without radar goggles on. They just back up! Everyone warned me about the northerners coming. I didn't think anything of it. I am a northerner. Well these northerners are different. I have never seen a Walmart with as many motorized vehicles in it before. It is a different world down here. I like it though. So now that everyone is settled- we need a call. Ring!!! Darn you!!

Attention-Now Approaching 2 Years!

Yes it is true. We are coming up on two years. I never would have thought it a year ago at Christmas when I was expecting a referral and my caseworker was hoping for one. Will I be here next Christmas? I don't feel anything happening in the near future. I know I sound like a poopoo head talking negative at Christmas time but it is true. I don't feel it. If it comes, fine. On a positive note, I have much to be grateful for this holiday. I have two wonderful girls and a husband who loves me. When our son is meant to be with us, he will come. Just to yell it out there, though-now would be a great time! Merry Christmas everyone.

Our First Florida Christmas!!

Well, here we are at almost 2 years of waiting and our first Christmas in Florida. Alot has changed for us in the last month. We are trying to get settled into our temporary condo while our house gets built. We are already feeling the squeeze of being in a smaller space. We couldn't fit all our furniture on the truck down so we are on mattresses. It was fun at first. We are getting used to the way things are down here. Very laid back and the people are very friendly. My girls are struggling in school. The schools are very different here. We were quite spoiled in NH. But this will toughen them in the end. It will be good for them. We have seen many different types of wild life that we didn't see up North. I saw my first bald eagle and its nest. I saw dolphins close up and stingrays close up. The different bird species are very cool. The vultures are amazing down here. There are tons of them. I have noticed that the trees aren't as tall here so we tend to see the larger birds more. It is a little hard to get used to the Christmas season without snow and 80 degree weather. I will adjust though. The tree I bought at Home Depot was standing next to the palm trees for sale. So funny! Saturday will be our second trip to Disney since we have been here. Oh Yeah!! This is part of why we like it here so much. It took us about three hours to drive but it is worth it. Last Saturday we got home at about midnight. This weekend will be MGM studios.

I hope to share good news about a referral with everyone soon. A chritmas present would be nice this year. I remember last christmas I was told that I would get a referral. I can't believe I made it all the way to this christmas without falling apart but here I am along with others who have waited as long or longer. We do survive. Here's to hoping Santa brings us all what we really deserve this Christmas! Happy Holidays to all those waiting and hugs to all the little ones in their cribs at the orphanages and at home with their forever families.

We Made It!!

After three days of driving and a few not so good events we made it to our final destination- The one way trip to Punta Gorda, Florida!! I never thought we would make it. My girls did great but the animals had a really tough time. One of our cats that is normally pretty calm could pass for a rabid animal the whole trip. Even when we slept in a motel she would sit on the bed and if you came near her she would hiss and growl. One cat got motion sickness and just laid there the whole trip. The parakeets swung on their swings and sang the whole way. The snake picked a bad time to start shedding. He started the process as soon as we left. We are now here and he hasn't come out of his house once. Pythons go blind when they shed and they have a hard time with it. His eyes turned a beautiful color blue. This is the first time he has shed for us and I feel bad it is happening now. We made it here Friday night and are finally going to enjoy the beach tomorrow. I am switching all my paperwork over to Florida regulations. I had a social worker come from FHSA Sat. morning and she did our home inspection. You can imagine what the place looked like. She said it wasn't a problem. Now our background checks have to come through and change our I171h to Florida. So, for once I am hoping the referral will wait until mid December. I think it will. Our baby knew to wait until we moved here and got settled in. It was meant to be. I am thinking though that the longer it takes the more likely we will travel in the heat of Taiwans summer. I guess we better get used to it living in Southern Florida!! It snowed back home today. Florida is my new home.

It's Cold Up Here!!

O.K. So maybe I am exaggerating with the picture but it feels that cold up here. I squeezed in one more post in all the chaos packing and moving. I will never complain about the heat. I promise. This sucks! We are slowly getting packed up. My daughters are finally giving in to the move. It finally sunk in that no matter what they do, we aren't changing our minds. It will be an adventure and will bring us closer together. Now we need a baby brother to complete the picture- BUT PLEASE- after we get there- OK? It has to be getting close. We are at about 22 months. We are at the point where I can actually say without knowing deep down that I am lying to myself that it could happen, soon. I will bet before Christmas. I hope everything falls into place. Unless I get a referral, this is my last post from NH. See you at the other end.

Florida Bound- One Way Trip!!

We just accepted the offer from our buyers from Queens NY and they want to close in 3 weeks!!! I have alot to do to keep my mind off of Taiwan for a few weeks. If anyone notices a crazy truck with animals sticking out of it in all directions going down south- that will be us. I will post when I get online again. Wish me luck!

50/50-stress

Well most of you know that we are trying to sell our home. We along with countless others in the area with the unfortunate luck of having to sell during this time with the market being so bad. Last week we had a mother come to view from Queens NY. She looked at 30 houses before ours. That is what we have been up against. Buyers have the pick of the litter out there. So, I didn't get my hopes up at all. A day later my realtor called and told me that she will be coming Friday-yesterday for a second showing and her hubby will be flying in for it. They will be picking between two houses-ours and one four doors down! I couldn't believe it. The one down the street has the same builder as ours. It is priced $50,000 more than ours but has an inground pool and a finished third floor. Our house is an expanded cape with no third floor but we have an awesome finished basement with built in cabinets. So, to compare them is difficult. Well, yesterday they came and I have been beyond stressing about this!! The main reasons are first- my daughters are very upset about the possibility of moving this early. We put our house on the market very early because of the fear of not selling. We don't need to move to Florida until next October. So, they are in shock, angry, sad-you name it. My sixth grader is having an awful time. She is very attached to her friends. The buyers mentioned that if they make an offer, they would need to know that we can close very quickly! So, we all know that we will have to relocate possibly within 45 days to Florida. No place picked out to rent, schools not set up. AHHH!! A referral coming-probably as soon as we get in the truck and start driving. The second reason I am stressed is that we were told if we don't get an offer soon- before the snow flies, forget it until April. The third reason I am stressed is that we haven't decided what we are going to do for work down there yet. We may sell the Subway's up here and do something different or hold on to them and open one down there. The sticky thing is that for the adoption we need to have proven income, especially when I redo my homestudy when we get down there. They will ask me what we do. If we sell the stores up here, we will have no income until we open something new. I have come this far and a referral is coming soon. I don't want to risk losing it. I don't know if they just check your previous tax returns, because that would show that we own businesses. I need input! We ideally want to hold onto the stores up here, but we are having a hard time keeping them stable with the help and we don't have anyone to run them yet. 45 days won't give us much time. So, back to the house selling- I got off the track. They as of now- Saturday afternoon are still thinking and will choose between the two. They are going to make their choice after they fly home at the beginning of the week. Just put me out of misery! God, making me wait this long is a killer. If they buy it, I will have mixed emotions- sadness for my children, but extreme relief for myself. I will let you guys know as soon as I hear.

We Are Leaving On A Jet Plane!

Florida here we come! We leave Wednesday for a five day trip to Punta Gorda to pick out all our home choices. Even though this isn't a leisure trip, it'll work for me. After all the car trouble and house selling trouble, I can't wait. I ended up getting a new car, so that is all settled. As far as the house selling,NOT! The realtors came over last night and suggested dropping at least $25,000. We dropped $20,000 for now. The slow times are coming ahead as soon as the snow falls, so we are hoping to spark some interest before November. With this being the fact, a plane ride sounds great to me. We may even squeeze in a day at the beach looking for shark teeth. My daughter loves to do that. I am going to leave my troubles behind and for five days not worry about houses or the phone not ringing from my adoption agency, which by the way, I have actually not thought too much about lately. A whole three weeks has gone by without listening to every ring of the phone and checking emails constantly. So, now I am suddenly at 21 months and it is looking like I am almost at the finish line. Even if it stretches out until Christmas, we are only talking a few more months. I can't see it stretching past 24 months. I probably shouldn't say that, but my gut feels like it is coming. Not so soon, but it is coming.Or should I say HE is coming.

I had A Crash!

I haven't posted lately because I have been preoccupied with my car predicament. I was driving home from work last week-alone thank god and an old man pulled out of a side road right into me. I was going about 45 mph. So basically my minivan is alot smaller on the side now and crumpled. We were very content not to have any car payments right now. We were going to drive my van for at least another year and Billy's the same or more. The damage to the car came to almost $5,000. If I traded my car in when it is repaired I will only get about $3500 for it, so do the math. We needed to get a new car with the check from his insurance company. So, with the check for $4500 and the trade in for $1000 with the damage, we got a new car. Not a minivan, but a car to replace what will be Billy's in the future. So now we have two small cars with the hope in a year we can get a new minivan. It is a really cute car. We are happy, we made out well considering the inconvenience. We have a small car payment and a safe car. But, we do have two children and one more coming---well I don't know when, but coming. So, the van needs to come first. Today, I had to part with my rental vehicle which I have become quite attached to the last week. It is a Chrysler Aspen-oh my what a nice SUV. It is like a bus. I felt so powerful. I am almost mad they gave it to me. What a tease. So, it was a sad day for me. Maybe someday I will have one.

We celebrated 13 years!

Today Billy and I have been married for 13 years. We didn't actually celebrate anything, except by sharing rolos at work together this morning. Now that I think of it, we never got a chance to eat them. Oh well, Billy got me a beautiful frame that holds baby pictures- One for birth,three months,six months and a year. I cried. When we get our referral I will put in the birth photo. I also got a wall clock for our new house in Florida from my girls. The thirteen years since we got married has gone by like a rocket, but this waiting for a referral has been like a lifetime. What the heck? We go down to sunny Florida in a couple of weeks to choose all our house colors, flooring and other good stuff. Now we just have to sell this place. You want to talk about depressing- we had an open house yesterday and NOBODY came. That is a scary thing when you have a house being built in another state. Since our house has been for sale, two people have come by. It is sad. It is an adorable country house. I would take it with me, if I could. Everybody seems to want those mansion looking houses with the open concepts. Ours is more traditional with the rooms broken up, but it is still big and I think it is nice. I feel bad for our house. Poor little house. We just need to find the right family for it. I will keep you posted.

Create Your Own!

I Have Been Tagged!!

Myspace Stuff

I have been tagged by Island Boy. I was tagged quite a while ago by my friend Ann and never got a chance to continue it. So, this time I will play along.

You have to post these rules before you give the facts. Players, you must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of your middle name. If you don’t have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had. When you are tagged, you need to write your own blog post containing your own middle name game facts. At the end of your blog post, you need to choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged & to read your blog! O.K.-Here we go...

Marie is my middle name

M- Movies- I love movies. I am a big Will Ferrell type movie fan. I love Farrelly brothers films. My favorite movies right now are Blades of Glory and Knocked Up.

A- Animals of course!! I love all creatures with or without fur and feathers. They are my buddies and I need to be surrounded by them at all times. Animals rock.

R- Rocking Roller Coaster. Disneyworld is my favorite place and that ride is one of my many favorites. I actually go through withdrawal if I can't ride it for a long time. Test Track would be my ultimate favorite but I don't have a T.

I- Independence. My husband and I have always been self-employed and I couldn't go through life working for someone else ever. We love to have our independence to do what we want when we want it.

E- Exploring. I love to travel. I love to ride planes and see new places.

I now need to name five people to Tag. The winners are blogs I have been following for a while regurlarly. I feel like I know these people.

http://www.taiwantreasure.blogspot.com- Ann is hilarious.

http://lyadoptionjourney.blogspot.com- Kira is such a sweety pie.

http://www.learningpatience.blogspot.com- William has gotten sooo big!

http://chairmanmom.blogspot.com - I love the name! I started reading this blog a while ago. She is funny.

http://www.babyhomepages.net/dearonebaby/index.php- I have followed the story of Jeremiah for a year. I love to read her blog.



You guys have fun and continue the game.