Lilypie Waiting to adopt Ticker

Our baby's time!!

Taipei

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Still Here!

I have been really bad about posting. I am sorry but after a while it gets sad to keep posting no news. There really isn't anything exciting to tell you. I only have bad news and that is not something you want to keep hearing. We have been having a hard time financially and we keep open the possibility of halting the adoption. I don't like even thinking about it but right now there is no money for it anywhere. So no phone call is good for now. I keep trying to think of some way to afford it but can't come up with anything. We took such a hit on our house up north and the Subway hasn't taken off down here in Fl. yet. We have a signed contract to build a home here which we signed long before we had financial problems. We hadn't anticipated on having to put our girls in private school and ya da ya da ya da. The point is there is no money for the adoption. So for that reason I haven't posted much because you don't want to hear it and I don't want to keep talking about it. My husband says that his biggest fear is the phone ringing tomorrow. That makes me feel great. I feel guilty because deep inside I would rather lose our house than lose my baby but I can't say that.So unless something changes we will probably announce the declined referral of our beautiful baby fairly soon. At 25 1/2 months it can't really take much longer. It really makes me mad because I was told 8-10 months. I had the money at that time and loooong after. I had enough money to bring both my children to Taiwan with us also. This is not my fault and there is nothing I can do about it. I may have to tell my daughters they won't be getting the brother they have been waiting for for 2 1/2 years. How do you do that?? It really rips me up. I am sure I am not the only one going through this with the market being so bad right now. It just sucks.I want this baby much more than a new house or to live in Florida. If I had known what I know now I would have stayed put in NH and I would not lose my baby. If a miracle can happen, I need it now. I will keep you posted.

5 comments:

Ann said...

OH honey this post just makes my heart break. I know exactly how you feel, we don't have all the money right now either...we too also had it all when we were told to anticipate a referral. But trust that you will find the financing when the time comes!! I'm here for you

Sarah said...

My heart's breaking for you...

Anonymous said...

Oh, how I feel your pain-financial troubles are enough, waiting for that referral is enough, and not having that new house is enough, not having a booming busines is enough, and then you roll it all together, and it just makes you want to have a good cry-go ahead-you deserve it. We will be praying the Lord makes a way, where we see no way!!
Huge hugs going your way from snowy, cold Wis
Chris

Anonymous said...

Hang in there! Please don't give up hope yet. Perhaps there is a reason why it is taking so long. I will pray that your referral and finances come together at just the right time.

Kelly
from Very Cold and Very Snowy Michigan

J+Di Di said...

I started my adoption journey and have been with the Yahoo Taiwan Adoption Group soon after you started your wait. Have been cheering for you and Ann silently through your long waits. I am so sad to hear that all these problems are going on with your family right now as you are getting so close to a referral. I can't offer any words of wisdom , but please know that you have a lot of support even from strangers!
My prayers are with you and your family!
Jackie