Shedding Some Tears Today

Well, the rumor on the adoption group is that the wait is going to change-AGAIN!! The third time for me. First we started at 8-10 months. Then we got to ten months and it changed to 12 months. We got to twelve and it changed to 14-16. We are at 17 and there is a rumor, which makes my stomach churn, that the orphanage is contacting agencies to let them know that the wait is changing to 18-24 months and there are still 12 families waiting from the end of 2005. I am the last one from 2005. Today I broke down. I cannot handle this anymore. Enough is enough. I am ready to give up. I cried and got into bed and slept. I also threw some food on the kitchen floor. It is better than throwing lamps. I woke up to my daughter telling me to come into the kitchen. It was now dark and she and my husband had made me cinnamon rolls. That cheered me up. I checked my email and there was a response from my caseworker saying that she too had heard the rumor and will contact the orphanage early in the week. So the agonizing wait continues.